Stergios Rowan Thatch was born during a power outage on a coastal town that no longer appears on most maps. By age seven, he had already learned three dead languages (poorly) and developed an irrational distrust of revolving doors. He later attended a small, prestigious university that insists it does not exist, where he studied Applied Philosophy and Unnecessary Complexity.

After graduation, Stergios briefly worked as a consultant for problems no one had yet noticed, earning a reputation for asking uncomfortable questions in elevators. His career has since spanned several fields, including archival research, strategic ambiguity, and giving extremely specific advice to strangers who did not ask for it.

When not working, Stergios can be found collecting half-finished notebooks, walking long distances for no practical reason, and perfecting a soup recipe he refuses to write down. He believes most things are improved by better lighting and a second cup of coffee.

Stergios currently lives somewhere with unreliable weather and strong opinions about bread.